Do you ever feel like you are not good enough? What about those times that you feel like you aren’t working hard enough, do they make you feel lazy?
Are you just freaking feeling overwhelmed? Yep, me too.
It makes me crazy when I see someone else doing something (anything that I wish I was doing) and they seem to be doing it so well, have it all together and they are so happy and content.
I AM Happy For Them!
I AM NOT happy for me….
You see, every once in a while, I find myself running on empty and feeling overwhelmed. What does that mean?
It means that I am following along and doing one (or more) of this:
- Following shiny things, buying education or information I don’t need.
- Getting hung up on other peoples numbers or success.
- Watching someone talk about success at doing something, and feeling that I should be doing the same thing.
- Wanting someone to show me the magic pill, easy button when I know these are fictional.
- Seeing something online that I wish I was doing or had right now.
I end up with this crazy anxious tummy ache and my brain feels fried – I end up taking lot’s of naps and sleeping for 10+ hours. Why? Because I’m spinning my wheels trying to do better. Do Better and DO More!
I’m reminded of an article I wrote in 2011 when I was helping out a couple of gals with the same feeling – Relax and Enjoy The Process.
They were both in a place of not doing anything because they felt overwhelmed and I was encouraging them to relax and do SOMETHING FUN.
So…. here I am, with list’s of things to do, and trying to figure out what to do next.
The “Next” Is NOT The Big Stuff
I do not need to plan a big promotion so I can increase my income – today!
I do not need to look at the big (HUGE) information product I’m working on – today!
I do not need to have the perfect website – today!
I do not need to start another podcast – today!
I do not need to start recording YouTube video and Webinars – today!
I do not need to find 10 (or 30) new wholesale accounts – today!
I do not need to process, label and ship all the products I have waiting in the shipping room – today!
I do not need to find/hire/train a new VA – today!
I do not need to think about the rebranding process I’m working on – today!
I do not need to work on my next speaking presentation – today!
I don’t even need to plan dinner for this evening, because I can always order take-out. *giggle*
All of the above are on my to-do list (and a ton more).
When I hit overwhelm, something is amiss in my business and my life.
What I felt the NEED to do today: Tell someone (you) that I had hit an overwhelm. I needed to spill it.
Guess What? I feel less overwhelmed already.
Because I did something. Just writing it out here, for the world to see… helps me get some perspective. (I also watched a few hours of TV with hubby and started a load of laundry)
The Good – Bad – Ugly of Email – YouTube – Podcasts – Facebook – Webinars
Over the years I’ve gotten in to the habit of watching/listening/reading what others are sharing about what I am most interested in Right Now. What happens when you dis-engage with those that have been a powerful influence in your business/life in the past? You loose touch with change.
You also miss out on finding new people. Those that are doing awesome, wonderful, exciting new things are often where the overwhelm comes in to play.
If I don’t know – I won’t know. If I don’t know about all the new things – I won’t feel left out.
This can be a helpful and awful choice.
Helpful = I don’t have a ton of distracting emails in my in box. I’m not tempted to follow the rabbit trails and want to join every group, listen to every podcast/YouTube video/webinar.
Awful = I’m not learning anything new. I’m blissful in my ignorance, yet I’m still using old-school ways. I felt free to do what I wanted – when I felt like it.
I AM an advocate of learning, so why would I want to curb the learning? It takes time and effort to learn and then use it.
We must all find a balance in what we allow IN. Too much and we hit overwhelm. Too little and we aren’t learning.
I’ve Been On Roll To Change It Up
Over the last few months I’ve been working on changes.
1. I made the decision, years ago, that I was not going to be a traveling speaker. CHANGE = I’ve been traveling and speaking at events and it’s exciting, fun and exhausting.
2. I also decided a few years ago (after a very bad experience) that I didn’t need to go to live events to learn – ever again. CHANGE = I have traveled to 3 events so far this year, met so many great people, learned about fun new things and overwhelmed my brain with possibilities for my business.
3. I decided a while back that I didn’t want to go past audio presentations, interviews, podcasts etc. – I find it a chore to “look nice” for live online communication that requires video of “ME”. CHANGE = I show up! I put my big girl panties on and futz with my hair/makeup/clothing. I prepare with notes. I SHOW UP and share/connect/giggle.
4. I was looking for the BIG Income. I mean BIG BIG BIG. CHANGE = This is not really a change. I have always had a few monetary goals in mind and when I reach them, I look to where I can improve/increase. The Change is to stop shooting for the BIG. I’ve never wanted to earn a gazillion dollars. EVER. I have always just wanted to make enough. Enough is enough. 😎
Whoever decided that “If you aren’t making X dollars – you aren’t successful” – stand up so I can slap you. You are the reason I follow shiny new projects and feel anxiety because I don’t match or exceed your numbers. When I see success stories – I want to see real people making real daily income and how they accomplished it. I don’t need to know how much you are making. I need to know if you are doing something in your business that is part of your foundation.
I also want to see what is not working, what you are changing and why and where you are struggling.
If anything will help us all ~ it’s the struggle. Knowing that someone has a time when they are struggling (or overwhelmed) is actually helpful, as long as it’s not whining.
If we have a time where we are afraid, struggling or overwhelmed ~ why not offer an idea or solution as well? It may not work (and you can report back on that as well), but at least we can all feel like we are working towards solving a problem.
5. I believe that we all will eventually find ourselves in a place where we want change. We have burned out, we are bored, we see an exciting opportunity that makes sense to follow or we get some wild idea because we see someone else doing it and think we should follow that path.
I’ve changed and switched paths so many times it feels normal. *giggle*
With change comes a sense of freedom. We are looking at something in a brand new fresh way. It’s fun. It’s Exhilarating. It’s what keeps us glued to the project for hours, weeks and months.
Change can also mean you are avoiding the real work. Your overwhelmed with all the stuff you should be doing and want to do something fun.
I am right in the middle of some big changes. Some of them are not fun at all. Rewriting a 300 page guide is not fun. Necessary, but no fun at any point.
Some are brand new experiments that I’m having a blast learning (along with the frustration of learning new tech stuff).
When I started to plan out these changes, they seemed fairly straight forward. Nothing that should stress me out. Right? I had a plan. Plans change and grow and get out of control – which leads to overwhelm.
My overwhelm has lead me to have huge lists of ideas I want to implement now (you saw my list above). Now Now Now Now! It’s all not possible ~ Now. Even if I hired a huge team… still not possible.
Eat That Elephant One Bite At A Time
I’ve shared that phrase a gillion times and yet when I get into my own overwhelm, I forget my own advice.
Make no more new plans.
What IS most important to accomplish? What has a deadline (even if it’s a month away)? Is the deadline something you promised to someone else?
Then – get to it! (I’m talking to myself)
Pull it out of the recesses. Make a new to-do list (Start Fresh). Gather up every necessary file and put it all in one place. Think about it. What specifically needs to be done? Break that elephant down into small bite sized pieces.
Do that today. Right now.
Tomorrow, get started with the first bite.
That’s it. I may (or not) feel less overwhelm tomorrow. At least I have a plan. Everything else is on the shelf. (except for one training class I’m in right now that is way too much fun to stop)
I now have 4 days of free time (because I’m not going to work on anything else). But – ONLY 4 days.
All those bites of the elephant might just get eaten in the 4 days with focus.
I’ll let you know how I ate the Overwhelming Elephant,
btw – Hubby just called to say he was bringing dinner home. I’m a happy camper.